Erika's journal

Sun, 21 May 2006 01:04:23 GMT

we long for the things we cant have.....we build up a world that so perfect that that there will never be a day we see our perfect world....

so just smile and live with it.....why choose to be unhappy

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 21:00:34 GMT

i love mikey nunez!!!!!!!
i miss him.......♥

Thu, 08 Dec 2005 15:56:22 GMT

hello everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i miss danny and i miss hanging out with nina i miss our late nights walking around i miss ninas house i miss danny being at eastwood i miss cleaning the house i miss sitting around having nothing to do i miss the summer i miss cori i miss efrain i miss the never ending nights when everyone would go to my house and hang out and get drunk and have fun fun fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me and mikey

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 16:22:56 GMT

Hello everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! today I hope will be a very awesome day. MIKEY AND I have been together for six months today wooooooooowww half a year omygoodness I love it I love him oh so very much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SUPER HAPPY KISSES

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 16:54:56 GMT

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 16:27:37 GMT

hello everyone!!!!!! how has everyone been as for me I guess ok. Me and Mikey are doing just grand I heart him sooo much he is my favorite. Well I miss my friend Danny a lot a lot he was always there when I needed him. And I miss my friend Efrain but I guess he just wants to live in the past. Right now at home things aren’t to good I hate being there but I have no were else to go, I guess I really messed up but whatever I don’t even want to look at my mom. She the meanest person on this planet. My holidays are gonna suck this year only because my mom doesn’t really care whatever I will prove her lame ass wrong. ok well bye bye everyone
love erika

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 22:51:23 GMT

happy birthday efrain hope all your wishes come ture kk i love you with all me heart muah!!!! bff

you guys better do it!!!!!!!!!!!!! or i will be super sad

Mon, 29 Aug 2005 06:50:22 GMT

1. Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you what band/song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!!!

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:15:02 GMT

Don’t whisper false interments in my ear and make me feel wanted when all your doing is making up a un real dream, And that dream takes forever for me to realize it was all a lie.
But I wish I never had woken up to my dream
Because now I look back and I see it as a nightmare.
“I love you” what’s dose I love you mean what do you feel when someone tells you I love you how do know they mean it how do you know when someone is showing love for you
I love you is just three words and that’s how you made me picture it you made it seem that way

la la la la la whats new? right!!!!

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 19:34:23 GMT

Efrain came over yesterday!!!!!!
It was fun I guess the whole time I wanted to cry but I wouldn’t let a single tear roll down my face all I did was laugh and smile thinking I can make myself happy. Nothings the same nor do I think it will ever be it makes me sad really sad but I decided not to cry over it any more it hasn’t help nor will it. I guess there’s some things you try to explain but no one will ever understand. I see it now I understand I am so sorry I didn’t see sooner I am sorry for everything I did to you and everything I didn’t do. Sorry I wasn’t the best friend you wanted me to be sorry I didn’t understand, but now I know exactly how you felt and it tears me up inside that I put you through that pain, but I ask myself this if you really loved someone so much and there mistakes broke your heart would you want them to feel the same pain you did would you want them to be sad the way you were? I wonder. I guess everything happens for a reason and what comes around goes around, geeeez that sucks., but what really sucks is when everything comes back to you twice as hard and when you complain about it all the other person dose is through your mistakes right back in your face comparing the difference. There’s so much surrounding me so much love, but I still feel so very much alone.
So for now on Efrain I am going to let you be happy and no tell you much about me anymore not tell you any of my secrets because its no use to you anyway and I am sure you don’t really care you probably have bigger problems of your own, and there’s probably nothing you can say or do to make me happy well there’s one thing and I am sure you know what that something is but I will just smile at you with joy and be by your side whenever you need me.

why do i cry so much :(

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 01:01:58 GMT

Sometimes I feel as if all my effort is not even close to enough. I try and try and do everything I can do to make my mom happy, I try not to talk back, I get home before she dose, I hardly ever go out, I don’t do drugs, have sex, smoke, I don’t drink, I clean the house everyday I never miss a day even when I feel sick. I wash dishes, clean counters, polish the wood, clean the glass, vacuum everyone’s room, do the laundry, clean everyone’s room even my moms, sweep and mop. What more do I have to do to be a good kid. I don’t understand. According to my mom I don’t follow the rules, I don’t know where I go wrong. My mom doesn’t understand me and I guess I don’t understand her. Sometimes my mom can say really hateful words towards me and I try not to cry showing her I am strong but I cant hold it in for so long I guess everything all my sadness builds up inside me that anything will tare me into pieces. I am always home alone my mom is never here never and she leaves me with my little brother, but even though I am sixteen years old I still get scared at times being home alone. I feel like such a horrible person for leaving my brother alone at times even though I was only next door he must have been terrified, but I am not is mother and I am tired of being his mom, I love him dearly but I want to be his sister. My mom goes out every weekend and if my little brother is here and if I want to go out its my job to find him a babysitter or else I don’t go out that sucks right. But my dad always comes to the rescue I love him. And everyone always tells me to just talk to her and tell her how I feel but its not that easy when the person your try to talk to doesn’t care nor understand. My mom I love her to death but sometimes I wonder do I really love her or do I love her because I have to.
And I cant believe I am even writing this telling everyone how I feel whatever. and lately I been sooo sad I sit there and class and do my work and tears roll down my face but quickly I wipe them off hoping no one saw and give a fake smile counting the minutes hours seconds people will notice the sadness behind my smile.

sorry pops no more POPS!!!!

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 00:27:53 GMT

I am absolutely trying not to be mean!!!!! I AM PUTTING IT IN THE NICEST WAY OK SO DON’T GET MAD
Please don’t call me pops anymore I mean I love love love that you call me pops but I don’t want to be something everyone else is!!!!!

just thinking!!!♥

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:26:06 GMT

I close my eyes at night and pretend your next to me holding me tight even though you were here with me only a second ago. Tell me please why do I miss you when you were just here kissing my check.. All I ever want to do I sit and think about you wanting to hold only your hand. You’re the sweetest person ever.
I love the way you kiss my forehead
I love the way you say bye after every kiss slowly as I walk away you keep pulling me closer to you still wanting to give me one more kiss, but tell me what dose that one kiss do, what deferens dose it make.
I love the way you smile
I love the way you touch me
I love your hugs
I love the way you love me
I love the way your just a genuine person to everyone regardless of who they are
I love the way you call me pops
I love the way you squeeze me till I die
I love the way you try to tickle me lol
I love the way you play with my fingers when you hold my hand
I love it when you make fun of me lol
I love when you move my hair from my face
I love you as my boyfriend
But tell me why am I so scared, scared to loss you, scared to hurt you, scared to never see you again, sacred in the future you wont love me the way you do right now, sacred you’ll hurt me, scared to make you cry, scared that you wont call, sacred you wont care,.
But all I know at this exact moment I love you!!

i hate boys

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 23:50:33 GMT

dont talk to me if you have nothing good to say!!!!!
i hate school
i hate you
i hate being fat

la la la la la la la

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 19:50:27 GMT

Fuck
I got a myspace and I don’t know how to use it
And its all gay and ugly everyone’s else is cool at time like this I hate life
I am so frustrated I don’t know how to make It pretty!!!!
Dose anyone want to come over and help me I would be very thankful

i am so happy about many things but yet so sad

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 19:39:48 GMT

After a while you learn the differences between a friend and a best friend
Well your best friend knows everything about you and they can become evil and spill out all you secrets porously or on accident ….. But if that person is truly your best friend they would never tell your secrets nor hurt you………..but if you’re a good best friend you would forgive them and forget all about it……… so wtf what are the rules of being a best friend
I THINK THERES NO RULES!!!!!!

When do you know that someone truly loves you, when do you know you love someone

Dose love last forever

Do you believe in forever

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 01:57:51 GMT

summer is i guess OK

so hows life everyone?
hows summer?

i hate school i hate school i hate school i hate school i hate school i hate school
i never want to go back

wow

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 15:46:36 GMT

Hello everyone
Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am back form my vacation. I went to Orlando Florida, it was fun and very hot, I went to Animal kingdom, Disney world, Disney Quest, and to many beaches. I think going to the beach was my favorite I love putting my feet in the sand and building sand turtles. I lost my hearts♥ gymnastics bracelets in the ocean and I am truly sorry I feel super bad so I am going to order him a new one online. My vacation was grand but very long to long I was there for 9 days I missed everyone way to much (home sick). So I am very happy to be back.
♥Erika

this is for efarin my best friend!!!!!!!

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 00:18:36 GMT

I wonna make you smile when ever you are sad
Carry you around when your altruists is bad
Oo all I wonna do is grow old with you
I’ll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire if the ferniest brakes
Ooo it could be so nice growing old with you
I’ll miss you kiss(check)you give you my coat when you are cold
Need you feed you even let you hold the remote control
Let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink.....sorry i dont know that part
oo it could be so nice to grow old with you ♥

A POEM FOR YOU

You're the one who's by my side
when no one else is there.
You're the one I can always count on,
You always seem to care.

You help me through
the tough times,
and when I've lost all hope,
You cry with me at sad times,
and laugh at all my jokes.
You never seem to judge me
or ever put me down,
You put a smile on my face,
When ever you see a frown.
You're better than a brother,
You're more than just my friend,
You have a special place in my heart,
That's why your my Best Friend.

I TURLY LOVE YOU ♥

GETTING BACK AT ERFAIN

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 17:57:32 GMT

Attention to the world guess what Efrain like JILL
How about that you cant erase it now
I LOVE YOU EFRAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKEY'S MY PERFECT BOY ♥

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 03:22:08 GMT

My perfect boy <3
I found a boy who can always put a smile on my face.
I found boy who can hold my hand and be glad he’s with me.
I found a boy who can sit through a chick flick movie and laugh at me when I cry at the end.
I found a boy who has cute dorky nick names for me.
I found a boy who can make me laugh at stupid stuff.
I found a boy who wrestles with me.
I found a boy who plays with my hair.
I found a boy who tickles me till I cant breath.
I found a boy who I can fall sleep with.
I found a boy with an awesome personality…….and when someone asks me Is that your boy friend I and when I replied yes, they say back with a smile “wow he’s a cool guy“.
I found a boy who holds me tight and never lets go.
I found a boy who takes me for a walk on a summer night.
I found a boy with a cute smile.
I found a boy who kisses me on my forehead when I am looking up at him.
I found a boy who can always wipe the tears off my face.
I found a boy who’s smart.
I found a boy who gets along with my friends.
I found a boy who would not lie to me, its a relationship with lots of trust towards each other.
I found a boy who dose not get jealous when I hang out with my guy friends, cause he know in his heart that he’s the only boy for me.
I found a boy that brags to all of his friends that he has "the best girlfriend in the world."
I found a boy who can have cute little food fights with me.
I found a boy who smells good.
I found a boy who believes in me.
I found a boy who knows I will make all his dreams come true.
I found a boy who loves to be with me.
I found a boy who misses me.
I found a boy who kisses me in the rain.
I found a boy that won't promise me forever, if he knows it's not true.
I found a boy who knows that something is wrong .. even when I try to hide it from him.
I found a boy that will never ever say

" I LOVE YOU "...

UNLESS HE TRULY MEANS IT

i am sad i wonna cry

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 05:52:44 GMT

its nice to see my lovely freinds ♥

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 18:27:26 GMT

Well on Tuesday I spent all day with Danny, Nina, and Jason it was super fun gosh I missed them sooo much I was soooo happy I gots to see them cause I love them all and I wouldn’t be able to live with out them!!!! We spent all day washing dishes lol it was funny. Jason has an ugly cut on his arm ewww its gross. I miss Danny a whole bunch man I love that kid!!!!!! It was fun taking pictures lol……… and I saw Nina my lovely boyfriend yay she will never break my heart ♥ it was an awesome day!!!!! But what happened to our movie night “GEEZ laweez" guys

I love you guys muah ♥♥♥♥

♥ smiles, happiness,love,hope.♥

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 07:00:01 GMT

Well this summer has just been chilling.
But my lovely boyfriend keeps me entertain lol I love being around him he’s grate !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE KISSING HIM ♥
Butterflies dance in my stomach

i had a blast♥

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:43:36 GMT

Omg yesterday was soooooooooooooo much fun I went to j-town with Gus, Wille, Cori. and my sister. We went to the dirty durby ewwwwww right the floor is all sticky and gross and its super pack you cant even walk around but I loved it, it was sooo much fun. I had a blast. Its scary there walking down the street everyone looking at you and whistling its creepy in the club some sicko grabbed my ass I didn’t even want to turn around and look at him I was to scared lol. I had a fabulous time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Haha even though I don’t drink lol It was super fun dancing all night long.

"you make me wonna lalala"

kisses mauh ♥